My Daughter, My Angel

IMG_9851My angel grew inside me until my womb swelled and my body opened. Then she surrounded me with wings and love. My daughter, Mary Rose, lived one sacred hour. I held her in my arms and had to let her go.

Why am I still here a month later when my body is heavy with grief and milk? How do I answer the question “How many children do you have?” Dead babies and miscarriages are taboo in our society where positive thinking cures all. But this angel…

Her energy is with me. I carry my daughter in my heart.

Mary Rose’s portrait was painted months ago. In the painting I hold my pregnant belly and the angel holds me from behind. Her wings are my sanctuary. Prints of Healing Companion comfort mothers with infant losses.  Now I write to heal myself and others. We women need each other to survive and bless this planet-in-transition. We are standing on stepping stones to higher consciousness. My heart is shattered and open. I will not hide my third-eye sight and intuition any more.

Mary Rose, bless us. Thank you for sending roses and feathers as you illuminate our path.

Dianna Vagianos Armentrout

published in 365 Days of Angel Prayers edited by Elizabeth Harper and Cathleen O’Connor
© 2014

Author: Dianna

DIANNA VAGIANOS ARMENTROUT is a published writer, teacher, workshop facilitator and poetry therapist. She graduated from Adelphi University’s Honors Program and earned her MAW from Manhattanville College. Dianna’s pregnancy with her daughter, Mary Rose, who died an hour after birth of trisomy 18, changed her life completely. Her blog, Walking the Labyrinth of My Heart, was launched in April 2015 as a way of offering support to others going through pregnancies with life-limiting and fatal diagnoses.

4 thoughts on “My Daughter, My Angel”

  1. Dear Dianna,
    I am a former older student of yours from SCSU. I will never forget your class as it challenged me in a good way to push myself over my limit! So, thank you for that.
    When I read your blog my heart went out to you and your baby daughter. I am so sorry for your loss. Your blog will be a blessing and reach out to many others.

    1. I remember you, Rosemarie. Thank you for your kind words and for reading my blog. Blessings and Love to you…

  2. Dear Dianna,

    Thank you for your tender words and fierce resolve.

    Our society surely does not have the kind of supports that grieving parents, particularly mothers need. I dare say that dad’s and other family members will benefit from the reflections your blog might provide.

    Over 50 years ago my oldest sister lost her first child in the third or fourth month of her pregnancy. I was probably 12. I remember how the loss was whispered in secret tones. Confusion and sorrow were all I had. I remember a friend and I talking about it without any understanding since it wasn’t a death but also was. Being in Catholic boys’ school, we did our best to place this into that spiritual context.

    This blog is larger than you’ve probably hoped .

    Ron/aka West

    1. Thank you for sharing your story, Ron. This walk in this plane with the ancestors is hard for people to understand, but we walk together. I feel both my children with me each day. I release this blog to the Light, and whatever help it may be for healing is Creator’s work. Much Love to you…

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