As we come upon the Nativity of Christ I am thinking about the excitement when a baby is coming. What is it about a new soul entering our broken world that brings tears to our eyes? This holiday season there is much to be grateful for and much to ponder. I was recently listening to Krista Tippett’s unedited interview with John O’Donohue and he told her that it’s not the soul that is in the body, but the body that is in the soul. This has stayed with me as I remember my daughter, Mary Rose. Her soul was certainly bigger than her tiny body.
As we prepare ourselves in the way that humans in the West prepare for Christmas there is much doing. Christmas cards and cookies. Shopping and pageants. We Westerners have created a maddening spinning wheel called the holiday season just when our bodies want to slow down and understand the deep energy of winter. Yet in the midst of all of this I have found many quiet moments of deep breaths and tears, liturgical hymns and more tears. This second Christmas without my daughter I still weep remembering what could have been, what was and what is.
My family is coming as they came in the summer of 2014 to meet my daughter, only she waited weeks and they went back to their homes and their jobs, except for her granny who held her and saw. My family is coming again and this year we await the Christ child, the holy child whose Mother is mother to us all. I have cleaned a chandelier and vacuumed my car. I baked cookies and finally ordered Christmas cards. Once again a child is coming and people gather to worship the birth in churches and temples, around the tree, around the table.
It has been nine months since I launched this blog and birthed this book for Mary Rose and for mothers with fatal or difficult “diagnoses.” I want to pause at this moment to thank you, Dear Readers, for making this blog so successful. With no advertising we have had thousands of views and every day a steady stream of visitors are reading these words that struggle to make sense of what cannot make sense. Thank you for trusting me to do this work, for inviting Mary Rose into your hearts and homes. Thank you for your time, for your kind comments and messages, for your stories about your own loved ones in spirit. I have been thinking hard on the names of your babies and I want to honor them and you.
If you would like your baby’s name who has had a fatal/difficult diagnosis or who was born still or was miscarried in my book that is coming out this spring, please comment below with your child’s name. You can also send me a private message on Facebook or Twitter. The links are on this page. Please do so by January 11th. I am hoping to arrange the names at the end of the book as a tribute. I have started a list. Ryder Chance, Bryson James, Grace Miriam, Siddha, David Isaac, John Gilbert, Zinnia Wild Grace…
You are in my heart as we continue to walk our path. Today on the Solstice we pause, and then walk toward the Light. We have much work to do and we are blessed that we have each other to rebuild our communities, to hold each other’s hands and to breathe together the love that abounds all around us, from this earth and from the heavenly realms.
Many blessings to you as you breathe through the intensity of these days. We are one. With all our children and loved ones who have moved into the heavenly realms, we are still One.